


In the end, you will always kneel

by belmanoir



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Meta, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-19
Updated: 2012-05-19
Packaged: 2017-11-05 16:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/408361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belmanoir/pseuds/belmanoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki thoughts around the themes of free will, control, and projection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the end, you will always kneel

**Author's Note:**

> Sonia talked about this with me a LOT and read it over before I posted it.

Just saw _Avengers_ again. Filled with thoughts about Loki (as I have been nonstop since the first viewing). Most of them are about free will, control, and projection.

I want to start off by saying I'm not trying to EXCUSE Loki's behavior with any of this. Honestly, I wouldn't love him any less if he was a hundred times as evil as the most evil interpretaion of his behavior, so there wouldn't be any point.

1\. Free will.

The first big question is: was Loki under mind control by the Chitauri in a similar way to how he controlled Clint and Selvig? To me it's ambiguous, but I do think it's strongly suggested that he is at least heavily affected by carrying the sceptre. Some moments that point this up for me:

a. When Thor asks "Who controls the would-be king?" Thor senses that something weird is going on with Loki, that this isn't his plan and possibly that he's giving off a weird energy.

b. It's been established that being hit on the head "resets" mind-controlees. When Loki sits up after being beaten and bounced around by the Hulk, he looks disoriented and as if he's awakening. His entire manner changes: he seems calmer and more relaxed than we've seen him.

c. For me the most interesting thing, though, is Selvig's comment: "I think I did know. You can't protect against yourself. I built in a fail-safe."

Loki does want to take Earth away from Thor. He does want to hurt Thor. He does want to conquer and destroy. He wants all those things. But Selvig's plan mimics Loki's plan in miniature. Loki didn't construct a plan he could win. Over and over again we're told that by different characters. Coulson tells Loki he lacks conviction, Tony says there's no version of this plan where Loki wins...people keep trying to explain to him that he can't win, but in the end, Loki never cared because Loki doesn't WANT to win. He wants to lose. This doesn't necessarily mean he's under mind-control because he was plenty self-sabotaging in _Thor_ , but think about the parallel to Selvig: Loki set up a plan where he would lose even though he couldn't control his destructive impulses...he did it using his self-destructive impulses.

(Counterargument: his eyes don't glow blue. This is true BUT his makeup and lighting especially in the early scenes is specifically designed to show off how pale and blue his eyes are. Maybe coincidence, maybe not.)

This angle would actually sadder to me than if Loki had just decided to take over the world. Because at least then it would be a story about himself, a story where he in in control. If he's being influenced, it's just a story about one more person bullying him. One more story where he is powerless to fight back, this time LITERALLY. (How sad was that, when Loki has been fighting six Avengers at once and holding his own and yet the minute he's facing off against the Hulk, he shouts "I WILL NOT BE BULLIED!" Because that's the framework he has to deal with every situation: he is being bullied. He is not in control, and he is being faced with someone more powerful than he is. Because that's the framework he's had his whole life.)

2\. Control.

This is Loki's big issue and big conflict. What does he say to the humans in the first scene? I don't remember the exact words but it's something like "You're most comfortable when you're subjugated. Being free only sends you into a mad scramble for power. For identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel."

Everything Loki ever says is really about himself (which I'll talk about in a minute), and this is really the heart of his whole problem. In _Thor_ he tells Thor, "I never wanted to be king. I only ever wanted to be your equal." But he "knows" that he is not a king, therefore not Thor's equal, therefore a subject. Born to kneel. Most comfortable being subjugated. And that IS where he's most comfortable, because he hates himself. He feels that all is right with the world when he's defeated. Mind control or not, he has a playful charm and physical relaxation in the scene after he's lost ("If you don't mind, I think I'll take that drink now"), while for the rest of the movie, he's wound tight as a wire.

One big choice that Loki did make, at the end of _Thor_ , was to let go of his staff and fall. He chose to die. But when he talks about what happened with Thor, he says "You tossed me into an abyss." Not only can he not conceptualize himself as Thor's equal, he can't conceptualize himself as in control of ANYTHING. When Thor repeatedly says "You can stop this. We can stop this together," his answer is always that it's too late, that now it's happening and no one can do anything. And that moment, when things have spiraled out of control, is Loki's true comfort zone. He clearly loves being in that cage. Partly I think this comes from an angsty place, because then it doesn't matter what he does. He doesn't have to try to be good, or do anything, he can just let stuff happen and relax. 

But there's more to it than that. Loki is god of mischief. There are three times in the movie when we see him grin and it looks like he's really enjoying himself, really feeling a sense of simple wonder, and they are: 

a. when everyone starts screaming and running out of the opera house,  
b. when he has Thor trapped in the cage and Thor smashes on the glass and everything shakes,  
and c. when he hears the Hulk roar and everything is shaking and people are running.

And the thing is, I think Loki would get the same sense of satisfaction from a really good prank. If he'd released a rat in that theater lobby and everyone ran and screamed he'd feel just as happy. Loki is about details, about moments. Imagine him ruling Earth. You can't do it! He would have no interest in bureaucracy or decision-making or long-term ANYTHING. There are parts of Loki's plans that work perfectly and they are all moments: I will walk down these stairs and my hair will look perfect, I will get caught, I will make all the Avengers have a big fight. All those things work. The larger aspects don't work because Loki doesn't CARE about them.

He's the god of mischief. He has no interest in control. His power is in a LACK of control, in unleashing chaos. If he could just learn to stop measuring himself by Thor's standards, he COULD be Thor's equal. Because Thor is about controlled, channeled power and Loki is about uncontrollable, free-flowing power and they balance each other perfectly.

(Although honestly I'm not into Thor as king either, and I think co-kings which I really believe he was going to offer Loki in that first scene with him would be a disaster waiting to happen and really Asgard should just switch to a democracy.)

(Sidenote: How sad was that moment in the field where Thor wasn't sure if he could still lift Mjolnir? I feel like all Thor has learned is that his "worthiness" is externally measurable and measured. It's really upsetting to think about him going around moment to moment "Am I still worthy RIGHT NOW?" Not only could he lose his hammer which he loves, but it would be an explicit confirmation that he is a bad person.

Loki's NEVER been able to lift Mjolnir. 

Odin is a shitty parent.)

3\. Projection.

Literally everything Loki says is about himself. Remember in _Thor_ when he was all "Thor, I feel that I've killed our father so I'm going to tell you that you killed our father"? "Thor I am afraid you will kill me so I'm going to kill you"? "Thor you put this hammer on my chest and I feel powerless so I am going to monologue about how powerless you are"? This is Loki's only coping mechanism and it was going full force in this movie. First there's the big "free will, always kneel" speech. Then there's his "You felt in control and then you were reminded what REAL power is" speech to Nick Fury which is obviously about him and Thor. 

Then finally there's his speech to Black Widow. [ETA: Oh man, I had actually FORGOTTEN about that "do you really think you can wipe out that much red?" part. Oh, Loki.] Setting aside (with difficulty) all the gross rape-y misogynistic overtones in that scene (Thanks Joss!) let's focus on the core of Loki's threat. "Clint will kill someone he loves (slowly and intimately) while not in control, and then he will wake up and scream." At no point has Loki shown any real ability to comprehend the fears and desires of others except through a prism of his own fears and desires (which I guess is pretty standard, that's how I comprehend other people too) so it follows for me that this is HIS fear. He's tried to kill Thor three times. But does he really want to kill Thor? Does he really want Thor to be dead? Or maybe more to the point, how does he imagine himself feeling once Thor is dead?

I buy completely that he wants to hurt Thor. That he even wants to kill him, in the sense of defeating him physically in the most complete way possible. That he can be goaded into lashing out at Thor in incredibly dangerous ways. But in the end, mostly it seems like Loki wants or expects Thor to kill HIM. ("What is this sudden love for the frost giants? You'd have killed them all with your bare hands!") Did ANYONE really expect Thor to die from falling in that thing while carrying his magic flying hammer? 

Which is part of what I love so much about that moment on the roof of Stark Tower where Loki and Thor just go AT it, and eventually Thor isn't holding his hammer and Loki isn't holding his sceptre and they're just pummeling each other, and it has to feel more like home, more like being brothers, than anything they've done in a while. And then Loki stabs Thor (there was what, half an inch of blood on that dagger when Thor pulled it out?) and rolls off the building...probably he knew that Chitauri flyer was going by. Would he still have done it if he didn't? I think so.

Loki doesn't know how to separate himself from Thor. He doesn't know how to separate his own pain and anger and fear and suicidal thoughts from hurting Thor and killing Thor and making Thor feel just as bad as he does. Because then, Loki's not alone. Then they're the same. They're brothers.


End file.
